Satire - Don's Diary
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June 16 11.55pm
Woken from sound sleep by banging on front door. Gerry with a few mates, one being sick over the letterbox. Politely declined their invitation to join them in my lounge to celebrate Gerry’s big filibuster in the House.
June 17 1.00pm
Caught up with Gerry as he arrived at the office in time for lunch. Congratulated him on his filibuster. Just the thing we need to counter criticism that we are almost totally inept in our leadership of the Opposition in the Chamber. But Gerry looked blank and asked me what I was talking about. Turned out he couldn’t even remember where he’d been last night. Was surprised when I told him he managed to table 20 standing orders before being forcibly removed.
June 18 9.30pm
Up early to watch Agenda. Put coffee on, toasted bread and spread pea and honey paste on two corned beef slices. Settled down in front of the TV but, when Willie Jackson didn’t come on at 9.30pm as advertised in The Listener, realised I had been watching Squirt including Roboroach on TV2. A great deal more informative than Agenda. Perhaps it would be better to change current policy and keep TV2 and sell TV1 instead.
June 19 6.00am
Quiet day at home with Je Lan. Afternoon spent working on my tax cut model. Experimented by adapting MCI Mark II prototype I developed last week for Responsible Public Policy Formulation (RPPF) by using beans instead of peas to represent percentage rates (with threshholds marked by corned beef slices and public expectations covered by Gladwrap). Broad beans too big but baked beans just right, although it took several hours to devise a mechanism - which I am calling a “bean counter” - to separate them from the tomato sauce.
June 20 9.00am
Monday and back to normal weekday routine of rising at 5.30am to iron tie, leaving the socks and underpants to Je Lan while I got on with organising the peas, slicing the corned beef and folding the Gladwrap.