Satire - Don's Diary
For this week's Don's Diary, click here.
11.30pm Mar 11
In Dunedin for Katherine's campaign dinner and charity auction. Was only bidder for amateurish oil painting by local artist H Clark (signed). Top price went for Maori translation of Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations, bought by Listener editor Pamela Stirling who collects extremely rare books published in editions of one. Daryl Tuffey video 'disappointing' according to Richard, a keen cricketer. No word from Murray.
6pm Mar 13
Busy day at home. Counted out week's supply of peas, sliced and Gladwrapped ditto amount of corned beef, boned and fileted sardines (for Friday), vacuumed garage, tightened lightbulbs, polished pelmets, twinked carpet. No sign of Murray.
1pm Mar 14
Wrote to Banksie, congratulating him on his magnificent performance at ACT conference and swift self-promotion to top of party list. Enclosed book vouchers Rodney gave me to spend at Jim Peron's Liberal Publications and Related Supplies shop. Murray still missing.
10am Mar 15
Richard says Murray always like this before an election. Gets depressed and convinces himself the party is going to lose. Trouble is, he's been right the last two times and was only saved by Winston in '96. My biography 'interesting' and 'superior' and I have the 'background and experience to be a good prime minister' - Michael Bassett in this morning's Dom-Post, encouraging comment indeed from a Labour minister who served loyally under the likes of Mike Moore and Geoffrey Palmer.
10am Mar 16
Postcard from Murray in Ivory Coast. Applying for citizenship and has enlisted in New Forces rebel army. Replied congratulating him on his swift promotion to Major in command of strategic planning for coups and elections, enclosing some Liberal Publications and Related Supplies vouchers.