Satire - Don's Diary
For this week's Don's Diary, click here.
9.05pm Mar 18
Sudden and quite irrational panic about Gerry's whereabouts sparked by this morning's Dom-Post front page headline "Kiwi blob terrifies British toddlers". No more postcards from Ivory Coast but Richard said Murray had called to report that the New Forces rebels had promoted him to full colonel in charge of all strategic planning.
6pm Mar 19
Call during dinner (cb&ps) from "Wild Bill" Kickarse offering a deal: in return for my support for keeping his news cameras in the chamber he'll guarantee no filming of my empty seat when I'm not there, comb-over shots or footage of me nodding off in Question Time, which I very nearly did once.
Very tempting to close eyes and drift off while Helen and Michael are showing off like a couple of tiresome goody-two-shoe swots and Rodney and Winston flicking ink at each other down the back of the class.
10am Mar 20
Request from Canvas magazine for my favourite recipes. Was going to give them cb&ps but chose instead another old stand-by from flatting days, my all-in-one breakfast-lunch-dinner combo: sardines on weetbix with peas and tomato sauce after reading Jonathan Hunt's daily intake in this week's issue (parsley omelette or fruit for brekkie, ham and beetroot toasted sandwich no butter for lunch, nasi goreng for dinner, and only brunch and dinner in weekends).
10.00am Mar 21
Card from Carmen Midgwort (nee Belafontella), now living in Wadestown with her husband, a diplomatic security consultant and her adult daughter Donelda. Vaguely recall a Carmen in my tango class during my time on the dance floors of 1960s Peru. Have replied inviting her to dinner. Got Richard to call and reject Wild Bill's tv coverage deal after we discovered he had made the same offer to all MPs.